Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
