Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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