Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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