Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
