U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I will pee on everything he values.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
