We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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