okay pat passed out under dana's car
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
