I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
