Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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