just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
