y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I believe in your delicious
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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