You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
