if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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