8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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