I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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