belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need to align my fucking chakras
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
