Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
