i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
