Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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