If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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