There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
