well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Send help, water and tortillas.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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