question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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