Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
