wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
