they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
