Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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