I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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