I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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