I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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