His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
