It's like God shit irony all over that family
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
