Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
