The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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