Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
