hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
