My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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