put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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