I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
