also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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