There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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