96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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