You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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