So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
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You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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