she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
