Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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