they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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