Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
