Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
