I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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