Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?