Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
