This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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