It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
