Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize