This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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