Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
