So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
