I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.