I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning