don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?