I think I just saw someone hide a body.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.