I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
