i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
