jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
