And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize