oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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